February 2023 13th issue: What is real support
When we think of support, we think of things like giving money or supplies, or doing something. However, such direct assistance is not always beneficial.
If you continue to give them money and food, they will continue to depend on support and may not be able to stand on their own. When you do something for some people, those who received it get used to "getting it". If they get used to having support, they may stop thinking about "doing something themselves." Support can be a hindrance to independence. In addition, by continuing to receive support, they may fall into a state of depression and self-loathing, thinking that they are useless people.
There is also the idea that it is better to teach the wisdom of earning money, how to get food, rather than giving it directly. This will make it easier for the recipients to become independent, and if their independence goes well, their feelings will be positive. However, even if you teach them, they would fail to earn money or get food at first. If they continue to fail, their feelings become negative and their suffering increases. In some cases, they may resent you who taught them. In an emergency, it may be too late without direct assistance.
Whether it is better to give direct support or to give wisdom to become independent depends on the situation, ability, and psychological state of the person in need. It is desirable for those who want to help to carefully observe the people in need and choose the most appropriate support from their point of view.
In some cases, pestering them, pushing them away, neglecting them, or criticizing them can inspire them. However, do not do it on your own accord. If you're going to do it, just try it while watching the reaction of the opponent and observing the change.
Giving them the courage to move forward and giving them the chance to demonstrate their abilities can be the greatest support for them.
If you really want to provide effective support, it is important to put yourself in the shoes of those in serious need, and to act flexibly by throwing away fixed ideas.
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